I have come to realize that just as self care, yoga and meditation nourish my soul, so does community. Gathering with those who genuinely want to share their precious time with you and you with them. As I grow within my journey, I realize that I get to choose my community. Choosing to meet those that have similar passions and missions is so important to me on this path that I am on. I am still transitioning out of my stagnant work environment from the past twenty years, but I have a precious few that I call”family.” For this I am grateful for. Sometimes as you let go of jobs and experiences, you have to let go of people to open space for new. This is how I feel about the community within Amala and being part of their weekly community lunches and yoga at Sanctuary. I have opened my heart to receive and through this, the community has been nourishing not only for my body, but for my soul.
AMALA COMMUNITY LUNCHES: NOURISHING.
For the past few weeks, I have been taking part in Amala’s weekly lunches where the community proceeds benefit the Foundation. They have volunteers that cook, clean and put love into serving their community gathering. Many there, I feel may have been part of this community already but each smile lights up the room welcoming you as you walk in. Any feelings of “the first day of school” jitters quickly disappeared and I felt right at home. It amazes me that when you open up, are open and surround yourself with those that want to be there, what you leave with. Yes, I left satisfied. Yes, even a bit full. But, most of all, I left with this sense of community nourishing my soul. Each time I have visited, I am able to meet and share with those on a similar journey as myself. Seeking community, making changes in their life to benefit the better good, and sharing bravery. I left with supportive stories in just that short time and have been able to give my support and undivided attention while sipping my cup of warm nourishing soup. It is within this that I feel the warmth that these community lunches have nourished and wrapped its arms around my soul, deeper than I could imagine.
LETTING GO OF EXPECTATIONS.
We have them. We think we should look like this, be this or have this. Sometime in our life, we have all felt that way. That little voice in your head that holds on, sticky as it may feel to the expectations we or society have for us. Let’s be real here. It hurts the most when someone you love, has these for you. The idea in their head of what “your” life should look like. Sure, I may have my own and battle with this from time to time, but I am stopped in my tracks when it is someone so close.
I have known that not everyone will nor has to understand this journey that I am on. It is mine. I am still trying to understand it. But, what spins me around and gets me into a messy battle with myself is when it is my momma. Why? Because I know her approval has been important to me for years. Her understanding and support. Up until age forty, I asked myself before major decisions, “what will my mom say?” She is supportive in her prayerful and loving way, but not understanding where my next “job” will be at is confusing her.
It has been a few weeks, and I have thought about how and what I should say. Maybe an email, maybe really sharing with her how yoga and meditation have made such an impact on my life that I want to help others. Sharing with her that I love children and our future and I see hope for them through these teachings. She would understand, she would have to, right? Then I thought, WOW, I need to be the one letting go of expectations. I need to stop carrying that weight around. This isn’t about her.
Began to first realize this during a guided meditation with my acupuncturist. I had shared all of this and it was heavy on my chest. This bond is thick, so I knew it would take time to heal the wound I had let those words place on me. I spent the next week unbalanced and draining it all. Literally. I knew this was part of the process. It wasn’t until last night, when I was reading an expert from Eckhart Tolle’s, A New Earth. It all made sense, by letting go of my expectations of how she should feel or react, I could let go of my own. What a heavy burden released, indeed dear Eckhart!! I could have chosen to carry that for years and accumulate more and more or let it go. I woke up lighter, easier to breathe. Less congested. Not totally balanced, yet on my way.
Think I need to do some flow today as I take to my mat and continue letting go of expectations. ALL of them.